Have you ever felt like your dreams are too far away? Do you look toward the future and wonder when things are going to work out for you?
In this episode, we explain the true reality that creates your life. There is a GAP between where you are and where you want to be but most people think it is external. I have to do certain things, spend some time creating and then I can create the life I want. To create a successful business I have to put up a website, network, do some marketing, talk to people and get clients and then I can achieve success. Or, if you are searching for love you may think you have to put yourself out there, act correctly according to the rules and then you will be able to “manifest” that relationship. While it seems logical, this thinking is for ordinary people who see the world as a material universe. Listen to us explain the real nature of reality and how to bridge the GAP internally to create the life you want.
Episode 52: Bridging the Gap to Your Desires
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Debi: Hello, this is episode number 52 with Debi & Dr. Rob Show. We have a great topic this week, and it is about trying to bridge the gap between what you want and where you are right now. A lot of people think it’s way far in the future. Your dreams and desires are outside of you sometime in the future. We are going to tell you how you can get what you want right in this moment. Stay tuned.
This is Debi & Dr. Rob Show. You are in the right place, if you are tired of the basic self-help and you’re ready for a higher level of teaching in neuroscience, juangian psychology and eastern wisdom. We offer world-class personal development and coach training for evolving women entrepreneurs to help you go to the next level of growth and success, relationships and living your purpose. Let’s get started. All right. Hi, Rob, how are you?
Dr. Rob: Good. Good to be here.
Debi: Are you excited about this topic? Is it your favorite topic?
Dr. Rob: It’s one of them because we all need to understand how what we create, how does it come about? What do we do? What do we have to do to– Is it a spell that we put on it or-
Debi: A vision board.
Dr. Rob: -a rain dance, something, right?
Debi: We have this desire– everyone has a desire, whether it’s for create a business, to have more love, the right relationship, better health, lose weight. We think that, “Okay, here I’m in a point A and I have to get to point B, which is what I want–”
Dr. Rob: My destination.
Debi: Yes, and how do I get there? How do I– What steps do I need to take? We always hear people say, “What’s the steps I need to take to get what I want?” The ordinary person will say, “You want to lose weight? Well, go on the right diet. You’re going to weigh yourself every week. You’re going to cut down. You’re going to work out, and eventually you’re going to get to that goal sometime in the future.”
Have a business, you’re going to put a website up. You’re going to do marketing. You can talk to people, tell them about what you’re doing, create your brand, and then you’re going to get clients. You’re going to create this business. And then one day, way in the future, you’re going to be successful. And that’s this idea of A and B mentality, and most of us operate that way. You go to school, you’re going to– in four years, you graduate, you get a degree.
Dr. Rob: You’re always preparing for something, always striving for something, but when you get there, it seems to not be the place anymore. Now there’s a new place that you need to be or there’s something else that you need to acquire.
Debi: Your mind is thinking that it’s the actions that I take, it’s the activities that I do, and even thinking positive on the surface is going to get me what I want. The main thing is that it’s going to take some time and it’s going to take some work. We are about to tell you, it doesn’t have to. What is the extraordinary person?
Dr. Rob: Well, it has to do with, let’s say, the ordinary view. What you described is making some false assumptions about the way the universe works. In the typical way of seeing the universe and reality, time seems to be moving in a line from past to present to future. It’s got a direction that it’s moving, and you can’t seem to violate its principle or that principle, that–
Debi: You’re stuck with it.
Dr. Rob: Yes, you’re stuck in the present. You can think about the past and learn from the past, but the future is somewhere ahead and you can’t see it, you can’t touch it yet. That is one of the misconceptions. The other one is that they think that the cause of their success, the cause of their happiness, lies somewhere else. It’s outside of me somehow.
Debi: Somewhere in the future.
Dr. Rob: Somewhere in the future. It’s going to be some particular thing that’s external that when I get it, then I’ll be happy. That cause and effect is misperceived as well because we know that it’s the mind that is the cause and the result is the effect. In other words, if you don’t create it in the mind, if you don’t have that capacity to perceive it, to receive it, you’re never going to see it in the external world.
Debi: It’ll always feel 10 feet in front of you like the carrot and the horse. The gap that we think is through action like, one day I’m going to get there. The gap is really within your own mind. There’s a part of you that believes that wants it, and another part of you that doesn’t believe you can have it. If that is a conflict inside of yourself, it’s going to keep occurring externally that you said the causes and then your action, the cause is within your mind.
I see closing the gap is when you’re– you have something that you desire and that you believe you can have it are together, are the same moment. Not, well, I’ll believe it when I see it one day in the future. We’re pulling that together and acting in one unified motion toward that goal with the belief that it’s already created for me. It’s such a hard thing to believe because we’re conditioned to believe like an ordinary person is, that one day if you do all these steps, you’re going to get this result.
Dr. Rob: Yes. It has to do with shifting your mindset to where you’re seeing things in a more realistic way, instead of the condition reaction or the condition way that we’re taught to see the world as linear, as this gap, like you say, between what I want and what I can have. We start to collapse the time and the mindset. What the mindset does, it brings those two elements together.
Debi: You know what, what you just said is realistic. You have to start thinking realistic because most people would say that’s not realistic. What’s realistic is if you take action and get the results, you do the work and then you get the result. One time when I first started doing this work, a woman asked me, she said, she was a life coach and she said, “I want you to tell me what your unfulfilled desires are.”
I said, “I don’t have any unfulfilled desires.” She said, “What?” I said, “All my desires have been fulfilled. I just haven’t lived into them yet.” Imagine coming and creating, like I assumed, in my mind, that I was going to have a best-selling book, that I was going to find love, that I was going to create a business that was going to sustain me. It’s having that assumption and that conviction of this is going to happen.
That is really that closing the gap between what you think you can have and what you want is the same. Most people have a very different– They have a conflict with that. Now, not to say that I believed it 100%, you know me, I always say you just have to believe a little bit more that you can– that’s already there for you than not. You’re going to have doubts, But that’s really where the gap is. It’s not about working harder.
Like you said, if they have this idea that they can’t have it, “I’m never going to find love or I’m never going to have this business,” and they keep doing action with that idea in their mind that “I’m never going to be successful. No one’s ever going to pay me what I want. I’m never going to get that promotion.” You can do all the action in the world, but if your mind is holding that, it’s never going to happen. It’s not going to happen. It’s going to keep– You are going to keep working harder and you’re basically thinking that you’re fighting the world, but you are really just having a war within yourself and really pulling that inward is going to help.
Dr. Rob: Yes. It’s an interesting idea, but the practicality of it, the being realistic, a lot of people think– You’re right, they think that it’s being very methodical and hard work and waiting and all that good stuff. Obviously those things are important and they have their place, but if you understand the deeper principles of how the mind works, what we call consciousness, and how it creates our reality, then you’re being more practical because you’re not wasting your time chasing your tail.
Debi: [laughs] Yes.
Dr. Rob: Right. You’re not wasting your time working hard and thinking that that’s going to give you the results. You’re understanding where the work is; it’s in your mind basically. You have to work with your mind, your vision, create your internal capacity to receive those things. If you don’t have that, because the mind is the cause, you will not see it externally.
Debi: No matter how hard you work. A lot of people say, just try harder, just keep trying. Of course, you do want to take action. The action does give you the feedback, but you’re– What a lot of people believe is that the feedback they get is what they can have. Look at your response to your results when you take action, it’s reflecting what you think you can have. If you go and you start a business and someone says, no, they don’t want your services or you’re too expensive, your mind will either say, “I agree with that person. See, I know I am too expensive,” and you’re letting the external drive you. Or you say, “I guess that wasn’t the right person. I’m going to keep pursuing.”
I had many, many rejection letters for my book proposal, but I just knew it was going to happen, the right publisher was going to show up. It’s a different way of working with reality or the physical world. The true reality is in our mind. That idea that how we respond to our results is showing us how much we believe we can have what we want. What we want to do is close that and bridge the gap between that; those two opposing forces.
Dr. Rob: We might ask well–
Debi: How do we do this?
Dr. Rob: Yes. How do we do that? How do we bridge the gap? How do we go about it?
Debi: Well, the first step is to understand the higher knowledge. Like you always say, you think the world is flat and it’s around. You’re operating from a completely different set of rules. The first step is to understand that, like you said, the cause is in you, the result out there is a reflection of your mind. 100% there is no like, “But there’s this random reality that’s outside of my control. The economy, the city I live in, the dating site that I’m on,” everything is– this other loophole. There are no loopholes, you are the cause.
Now, that said, you’re not to blame because most of what we create is unconscious, you have to take that first step; I am the cause, there’s something in me that’s creating this reality. Then you have to ask yourself when you get a result that you don’t want, when you take action toward your desire, you have to look at what your response is, “What is my response?” The response is either, “Okay. I’m going to keep going, that didn’t work out but I’m holding my mind.” Or your response, number two, is, “See, I know I can’t have what I want.” You’re looking for the external reinforcement to confirm your beliefs versus holding the vision regardless of what the result is.
Dr. Rob: Yes. We were doing an interview earlier, and I asked the host, because he’s created several, very successful businesses, he’s very accomplished. I asked him, “Well, how do you do it? How do you create?” He said, “It’s passion. My passion for the things that I want to see in the world, that’s what keeps me going, that’s what inspires me.” That is such an important lesson for us.
If you don’t have that passion, meaning the emotion behind it, the certainty that what you are feeling about this work and the things that you’re creating is already there and that it’s meant to be in the world, then it has a purpose and that your purpose is to bring it about and that the universe is going to assist you in this endeavor that you’re undertaking, if you don’t have that passion, it’s not going to happen, no matter how brilliant the idea is, no matter how hard you work, that passion is what really creates it. It’s what imprints our desire on the universal mind and then the universe says, “Yes, this must be.”
Debi: I love Wallace Wattles said The Science of Getting Rich, it’s a great book, I love his quote that he says that, “A desire is the divine wanting to express itself through you.” Remember that everything you desire, a part of that is the divine in you wants that, not your ego, the divine in you wants it. You want to get in touch, like you said, with that passion for it and there’s a difference between a passion for creating and wanting to get something to feel secure.
You have to ask yourself when you look at that result, “If I get that result, is that going to make me feel more secure? If I get this external result?” You have to bring it in and understand that if you’re creating something that’s going to make you feel secure, externally, you can never be secure because everything external is temporary. You’re really starting off. Again, the world is flat, my salvation is outside of me and you’re working in the wrong way. I’m not going to say wrong way but in how an ordinary person lives in the world. If we want to really create abundance, love, health, success, we have to understand the principle.
They look at the results, they feel like they see where their mind is. It really helps you see how you respond to that result is really going to show you, “This is where my mind is. My mind is thinking it’s never going to happen,” or my mind is thinking, “Okay. I’m just going to keep trying. I know it’s out there.” Before I met you, I would tell all the girls and my friends, I would talk about my new boyfriend and they’d say, “Well, you met someone, Debi?” I’m like, “I haven’t met him yet but he’s coming.” I just had this playfulness about–
Dr. Rob: They didn’t lock you up?
Debi: No, they didn’t lock me up. They thought I was a little– See, it’s like you said, it’s a realistic way to look at it although everyone else who’s ordinary and not evolved will say, “You’re crazy.” Of course, I didn’t tell it to everybody, but I would– like my close friends, I’d be like, “I got an extra nightstand because I know my boyfriend and I are going to read spiritual books in bed after we– creating this nest for my new boyfriend and, in my mind, imagining that life as if it’s already happened.
That’s really– remember when we talk about passion, the ego can’t really get hooked into that if we really fall in love that that’s really our divine goal. The divine wants to express it and the only time the ego gets involved is when you believe it cannot be. Because the ego starts feeling doubt and it starts looking externally for reinforcements and security. Then what reflects back is fear and doubt and worry.
Pulling back, remembering that the desire for you is also the divine in you is desire. What if you believed it was already taken care of, this desire, just you having the desire means that it’s already there. You just have to live into it. How would you act differently if you knew that your success was inevitable, if you knew love was inevitable?
Dr. Rob: Yes. It also goes back to the idea that we started talking about, how does time and space really operate? What is the nature, the reality that we experience?
Debi: Tell us about time and space, Dr. Rob.
Dr. Rob: Well, if you understand it as a physical machine. If we’re living in a material world, like the song says, or a material universe, let’s say, then these things are impossible the way we’re explaining them.
Debi: [singing] Living in a material world and I am a material girl.
Dr. Rob: If you understand the deeper reality as explained in ancient wisdom and now in physics and perceptual sciences, everything exists as awareness, as consciousness. We are really in a conscious universe. Meaning, everything is alive no matter how it appears to us as matter, it’s not what it appears to be, it’s a mental, psychological conscious experience that we are living in.
When you understand that then all these things are very possible, because that means consciousness, the way we think is what we are going to experience as our creation, our life. That makes a lot more sense actually given everything we know now in both science and consciousness, ancient wisdom of consciousness. To make that shift, that’s where you need to make, make that shift from perceiving an external, material universe to understanding it in a more realistic way as a conscious universe.
Debi: Material universe means that you’re separate from the things, they’re outside of you. A and B are separate. That B, your desire is somewhere out in the future at another time, in another place. The real reality is that it’s already created. That we’re moving through the physical reality or the consciousness reality and stepping into it and that’s completely different. It’s like a– you know those gerbil wheel where the gerbil keeps spinning, that’s like our ordinary mind. It just keeps repeating the same thing externally, feeding back to the mind and you’re kind of caught in this loop of seeing the same thing. That’s where people feel like, “Oh my God, I’m stuck. I can’t get off this wheel.” When we expand our mind, we get off that wheel and we could start to see something different.
We can move beyond that little gerbil wheel and start to paint our life in a different way. I think the main thing is that we are connected to everything. Everything around us is emanating from our own consciousness. So we are seeing our mind everywhere. If we know that, then we’re starting off in the right place, then we could start to create in a different way.
Most of the world doesn’t think this way. When we go back into the world if you stop listening to this podcast, you’re going to be inspired and you’re going to go, “Yes,” then you’re get into your car and someone’s going to road rage, or the person at Starbucks gives you– cuts in line, something’s going to happen and then you’re going to think it’s separate again. We just kind of fall asleep again.
The key is to keep waking up, to keep remembering that we are creating everything and that everything that we would desire has already been created for us, and even things that we’re not conscious of that we desire. There’s things that you don’t even know of yet that you’ve already created in consciousness, that you’re not even conscious of, that are far greater than even your little tiny visions.
When I wanted to find love, and I was single, I just wanted that white picket fence the man to feel that security. I was asking for too little. It’s almost like my divine self was not going to let me just settle for just that small piece when it knew that there was something bigger. It knew I was going to meet someone like Dr. Rob, that we were going to create this business, that we were going to change lives around the world, that that was really the bigger mission. You have to trust that the divine has a better plan sometimes than our little ego mind does. Just starting to open up to that is really transformational.
Dr. Rob: That’s how you do it. That’s how you bridge the gap.
Debi: You bridge the gap by remembering that anything’s possible, that you look at your results and notice– watch the feedback from your mind, and notice where the doubt is, then ask yourself, “What if my success or my love dream or my ideal body is inevitable?” How would you act? How would your mind be if it really believed it was inevitable? That you were just going to the motions to receive it versus, “I got to go out and make it happen.”
That’s the difference. You’re receiving, you’re stepping into receiving what’s already been created or you’re going out, your little ego is going out and trying to make it happen. That’s how you close the gap in one quick show. I know this is a big topic. We’d love to hear more about what you think about it in our Facebook group for our podcast. Love to interact with you, argue your reality, what practicality is.
Dr. Rob: We need to do more on this topic. It’s such a vast and huge beautiful idea that we need to elaborate it a little bit more for people. It’s such an important piece. If you get even a little bit of this, you will see more opportunities opening up in your life.
Debi: Imagine just assuming that what you want is inevitable, would be a really great first step for you. Also, if you’re interested in our kind of work, we are going to be launching another coach training. Coach training, JSP training, is starting this month. We only have two spots left. Once those are filled, we are going to launch another training next year.
If you’re interested in becoming a Jungian Life Coach, please apply. You can go to jungianlifecoach.com. Find out more about our program, it’s a 10 month program.
Our coaches are just– every class is incredible. Women that graduate from the class or take the program, take the work, the psychology, the spirituality, and really make it their own and create all new indifferent industries.
Dr. Rob: Beautiful. This year we have such an incredible group of people training. Jungian Spiritual Psychology, if you’re ready to really make changes in your life, and really find your purpose and create something new for yourself, it’s for you. It’s not for everyone. If you’re comfortable, if you’re saying, “I’m doing what I love to do already and I’m happy,” then great, maybe this is not for you. If you’re still kind of open to learning more, expressing more, defining deeper expressions of your creativity, of your ideas, then JSP is for you.
Debi: You don’t have to become a coach, you can actually use– A lot of our students actually go through the training for their own– to help in their personal, or their cooperate world, or their own businesses to work with their teams. It’s really a personal development transformation that comes with also training in this higher knowledge. You do not have to become a coach. If you’re saying, “I don’t want to become a coach, I’d love to learn more about this work.” You can go through the program and it will be life changing for you; jungianlifecoach.com, and we will see you soon on our next podcast. Thank you for joining us and have a great day.
Dr. Rob: See you soon. Much love.
Debi: You’ve being listening to the Debi & Dr. Rob Show. To find out more about us you can visit us on our website at debiandrob.com. Also, please don’t forget to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play, we’d love to see you on every show and thank you so much for joining us. We hope you remember to believe in your biggest dreams.